Mental Health Battles
Today, the mainstream media makes girls believe that we should look, act, and feel a certain way. When I get on social media, I rarely see anything regarding mental health, but instead see girls who have the perfect lives. This constant comparison through social media makes girls feel lonely, isolated, and insecure, even though everything is not always as it seems. Everyone is battling something behind closed doors. As girls, we feel that it is not acceptable to share the “uglier” side of our story. We feel that we should always have a smile on our face, and pretend that our reality is perfect, even though we may be struggling. Let’s erase the stigma surrounding mental health and support each other.
I never thought that I would be one to struggle with anxiety, but now it is something I battle with everyday. My battle first started when I moved my junior year of high school. Before I moved, I felt like I had a happy and fun life. I had many friends, I was involved, and I was excited about my future. Suddenly, all of that changed. I thought this would be an exciting adventure...instead it was a nightmare. After moving, I didn’t have any friends, I had anxiety all the time, and I became depressed. In a word, I was lost. Here’s the thing about anxiety and depression...it makes you feel like you aren’t good enough, and it manifests itself in every aspect of your life. You begin to believe lies like you aren’t trying hard enough, or you aren’t as skinny or as pretty as everyone else, and that is a tough place to come back from.
Soon after moving, I realized I wasn’t the fun, happy-go-lucky girl that everyone loved from back home. I had become cold and rigid. I would look on social media and see my old friends going to homecoming, attending football games, and spending time together. Every time I got online, I felt a sense of overwhelming hopelessness. All I wanted to do was portray that my life was just as happy as everyone else, even when that was far from my reality. I made a point to post anything that seemed like I was having the time of my life, regardless of how I was feeling inside. Even when someone asked me how I was doing, I made sure to tell them that I “loved my new school” and “had made a ton of new friends.” Little did they know that my mental health was declining.
After battling anxiety and depression for two years, I decided to attend Mississippi State University and go through the recruitment process. I accepted a bid from Chi Omega, and I thought things would start looking up. After all, I had found my “home away from home.” However, my battle with mental health was far from over. I wish I could say that my freshman year was filled with only laughter and happiness, but I still had days where I would cry myself to sleep, because I still felt as though I wasn’t enough. Like most freshmen, I struggled with making friends, choosing a major/career, and trying to get involved on campus. It wasn’t until I decided to open up to a few of my sorority sisters about my true reality and how I was struggling that I found true comfort.
Chi Omega has given me friends who love me for who I am, and sisters who will lead me back to God when I am lost. Some days I still struggle, I’m human...but through Chi Omega I have learned that I am not alone, and now I do not have to suffer alone. I am so thankful for the opportunity to be the first ever Mental Health Chair for Chi Omega, and my hope is that each of you know that you are not alone.
